I never thought I’d rethink my position as a woman. I’ve never had anyone question my sexuality, I don’t get followed ( anymore than the usual profiling problems. Yes I can see you, no I’m not stealing) and I like to think I’m up on women’s issues and fairly open-minded.
Then I watched Laci Green completely blow my mind regarding sexual objectification. To break it down quickly: instead of being seen as a person with thoughts, feelings, ambitions and a complex life story I as a woman am seen as bunch of parts to be ogled and assembled purely for sexual pleasure. She also went on to say that even WOMEN see OTHER WOMEN as parts of a person, not whole. Where’s the sisterhood and so-called feminism in that?
I finished the video with my mouth agape, and immediately thought of all the images of women I’d been exposed to: models, celebrities, dancers, even women who were just submitting pictures to fashion sites for fun. I realized after looking at comment after comment each woman was broken down into parts: butt too small/big/droopy, makeup not right, legs/hips toned or long or short. Once I got to thinking about hair, it just got weirder. I went to look in my bathroom mirror and I had to ask myself some serious questions:
1) Do I do my hair/ makeup/ glamscaping/crunches because I truly feel good and these are things that benefit me or because I subconsciously know I am viewed as an object so I must maintain my appeal?
2) When I work out and go to female workout support websites, how come I only see parts of a woman’s body in the images ? Not to negate the point of demonstrating the effects of an exercise, but isn’t it slightly pornographic that a woman who wants to show she squats shows her ENTIRE ASS in panties as opposed to wearing bike shorts?!
( I’m gonna ignore that fact that “ambassador” is spelled wrong -_- )
3) Why is cutting your hair short such a big deal? Is it because men have decided that long hair is the ONLY attractive way women are perceived, and that’s why we go for length by any means even if it isn’t flattering?
4) Is this why Chippendales shows are so popular? That they somehow provide a little short-lived revenge for women who constantly scrutinize themselves and other women through the eyes of the gender who wouldn’t make it through childbirth without dying?
Part of communicating, whether you want to be a feminist or just a good human being, is really seeing people as people, not items to be accumulated or displayed. I don’t see half as many ads telling men about 101 ways how to blow a woman’s mind or the 15 beauty tips he should be utilizing to keep me (although clipping your toenails and occasionally shaving your back hair would be nice! Lol).
Here are a few new ways I’m starting to interAct and not interJect my bias:
- Keep comfortable eye contact. It’s okay to glance around a bit but try to keep the eyes in a neutral spot. You actually might hear what the other person is saying.
-Check your compliments. If she has nice hair, cool, but don’t obsess or reverse compliment like ” I wish MY ( insert singular body part) looked as good as yours” . We’re people, not parts!
-I now officially am banning the phrase “I’d hit that” or any sexual equivalent from my vocab. I didn’t say it before but I think respecting myself and you starts with acknowledging that men aren’t meat and women aren’t fish to be hooked.
Check the link in the text and share thoughts below!! See you next week!